AFFILIATION, ATTRACTION AND CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS
Seeking the company of others
Human beings have a strong need to affiliate with other people, through belonging to groups and developing close interpersonal relationships. The consequences of social deprivation are severely maladaptive (ranging from loneliness to psychosis), and social isolation is a potent punishment that can take many forms (solitary confinement, shunning, ostracism, the ‘silent treatment’). Most of us choose to spend a great deal of time with others, especially when we experience threat (Schachter, 1959) or feel anxious (Buunk, 1995). Our motives for affiliation include social comparison (we learn about ourselves, our skills, abilities, perceptions and attitudes; Festinger, 1954), anxiety reduction (Stroebe & Stroebe, 1997) and information seeking (Shaver & Klinnert, 1982). Hospitals now routinely encourage surgical patients who have undergone the same medical procedure to talk to others to help reduce anxiety (Gump & Kulik, 1997).
People usually seek out and maintain the company of people they like. We tend to like others whom we consider physically attractive, and who are nearby, familiar and available, and withwhom we expect continued interaction. How many of your friends at college live close to you on campus? The likely answer is ‘many of them’ (see Festinger, Schachter & Back, 1950). We also tend to like people who have similar attitudes and values to our own (Byrne, 1971), especially when these attitudes and values are personally important to us.
Seeking the company of others
Human beings have a strong need to affiliate with other people, through belonging to groups and developing close interpersonal relationships. The consequences of social deprivation are severely maladaptive (ranging from loneliness to psychosis), and social isolation is a potent punishment that can take many forms (solitary confinement, shunning, ostracism, the ‘silent treatment’). Most of us choose to spend a great deal of time with others, especially when we experience threat (Schachter, 1959) or feel anxious (Buunk, 1995). Our motives for affiliation include social comparison (we learn about ourselves, our skills, abilities, perceptions and attitudes; Festinger, 1954), anxiety reduction (Stroebe & Stroebe, 1997) and information seeking (Shaver & Klinnert, 1982). Hospitals now routinely encourage surgical patients who have undergone the same medical procedure to talk to others to help reduce anxiety (Gump & Kulik, 1997).
People usually seek out and maintain the company of people they like. We tend to like others whom we consider physically attractive, and who are nearby, familiar and available, and withwhom we expect continued interaction. How many of your friends at college live close to you on campus? The likely answer is ‘many of them’ (see Festinger, Schachter & Back, 1950). We also tend to like people who have similar attitudes and values to our own (Byrne, 1971), especially when these attitudes and values are personally important to us.
The importance of social support
Generally, having appropriate social support is a very powerful ‘buffer’ against stressful events. Cohen and Hoberman (1983) found that, among individuals who felt that their life was very stressful, those who perceived themselves to have low social support reported many more physical symptoms (e.g. headaches, insomnia) than those who felt they had high social support (see figure 18.6). Overall, the evidence is clear – social integration is good for our physical and psychological health (Stroebe & Stroebe, 1997).
Generally, having appropriate social support is a very powerful ‘buffer’ against stressful events. Cohen and Hoberman (1983) found that, among individuals who felt that their life was very stressful, those who perceived themselves to have low social support reported many more physical symptoms (e.g. headaches, insomnia) than those who felt they had high social support (see figure 18.6). Overall, the evidence is clear – social integration is good for our physical and psychological health (Stroebe & Stroebe, 1997).
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